Sharma Family Wisdom

I think I'm going to be active on the internet again...

Fri, 27 Apr 2012 10:54:36 -0400

…but maybe at wordpress instead of tumblr. This is cool for pictures of butts going viral, but it doesnt’ seem very well suited to discussions or large articles of text.

Thoughts?

RECORDS FOR SALE

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 23:59:32 -0400

Taking a break from taking a break from making fun of my family to sell records.

E-mail offers to hippipdip@gmail.com. May give a cash discount if we’re friends and you come to my house. In some cases I made up names for the records based on the cover art when I wasn’t sure how they should be titled.

5”

Book of Dead Names/Jerome’s Dream

7”

(One band joints)

1.6 Band – Tongue Family Style

Absolution – 7” Combined Effort Recs

All Chrome – Flounders Fliers College Canada

Atlas Shrugged – We Don’t Stand a Chance

AusRotten – Fuck Nazi Sympathy

Bane – holding this moment

Beta Minus Mechanic – 69 Camaro (sleeve corner cut)

Blacklisted – “Peace On Earth War on Stage” (Grey)

Black Cross – Roll Up Your Sleeves (pink)

Black Turns Green – s/t

Blood Red – Bad To Worse

Break of Dawn – Stop. Start Over

Breather Resist – The Second Half

By the Grace of God – For the Love of Indie Rock (green)

Cable Car Theory – s/t Immigrant Sun

Capital – “Blind Faith” (Pink)

Carol – Prefabricated

Chokehold – tooth and nail

Circle of Dead Children – Exotic Sense Decay pic disk

Clockwise – D.y.e.t.m

Close Call – Someone Talked

Coalesce – 002 (blue)

Collateral Damage – s/t Indecision Recs

Combat Wounded Veteran – What Flavor is Your Death Squad Leader

Contempt – A Call For Revolution

The Control – “A Step Apart”

Curb Dogs – Pushed Too Far

Damnation AD – The Mortal/Hasn’t Happened Yet

Damnation AD – On A Pale Horse (Purple)

Darkside NYC – Enter in Silence

Deadguy – White Meat

Dead Nation – Painless EP (red)

Dead Tired – “We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Boat” (Cute turquoise sort of color)

Demon System 13 – Aborted Teen Generation

Desperation – “Desperation”

The Disaster – 7 Years Left to Go

Drift Again – Network Sound recs 7”

Downset – Los Angeles 310

Drowningman – Weighted and Weighed Down

Dustheads – Tall Tales I

Dustheads – Tall Tales II

Dynamo – Police State

Early Grace – firm/springs 7”

Eating Glass – “Feed Them To the Vultures”

Eleven Thirty Four - Dying

Eleven Thirty Four - Nothing

Encounter - Lost

Endpoint – Idiots

Ensign – Fall From Grace

The Ergs – “Books About Miles Davis b/w Only Babies Cry” (2 Copies)

The Ergs – Cotton Pickin’ Minute

End of a Year – “We Understand Europeans Are a Sexual People” Euro Tour 2007

funky split colored vinyl

Falling Forward – Doghouse Recs 7”

Fall Silent – Life: Beautiful but Heartless

Fleshtemple – “Too Numb to Cum”

The Fire Still Burns – “s/t” (Clear)

Four Walls Falling – Punish the Machine (European release)

Forward to Death – Hourglass EP

The Frontline – “Withstand”’

Function – Crisis Recs 7”

Garden Variety – Hedge

Give Me Danger – “…this is a stick up”

God Below – s/t (members of Earth Crisis)

Good Clean Fun – Victory Records Sucks picture disk

Go Time – Dead By 23 recs 7”

Guilt – Empty

Half Off – Shoot Guns Eat Pussy

Hellhole – s/t

Hot Water Music – Alachua

Hot Water Music – You Can Take the Boy Out of Bradenton

Human Remains – When Forever Becomes Until

Iceburn – burn/fall

In/Humanity – Your Future Lies Smoldering At the Feet of the Robots

In/Humanity – Occultonomy

I, Robot – s/t (Gold Tooth Recs)

Jesuit – Car Crash Lullabye

The Judas Factor – s/t

Killin’ It – “Party 4 Ever”

Krakatoa – Clouds Burned By Sunshine (members of Harvest)

The Icement – Buried Alive/Fire N Ice

King for a Day – sleeping hero/lazy

Lack - Sisyphus

Lincoln – Sugarloaf/Waterboy

The Locust – s/t

The Measure [sa] – “Union Pool”

The Measure [sa] – “Art of the Underground Vol. 37” #289/350

Milhouse – Modern problems, old fashioned solutions, classic mistakes

Mind Over Matter – Wreckage Recs 7”

Mind over Matter – Hectic Thinking (zap)

Modern Life is War – 7” First Press MLIW Records 001

The Mongoloids – (s/t? 4 songs on AV Records)

The Mongoloids – “Hercules/Troubled Waters” #16/300

Monster X – To the Positive Youth

Morning Again – To Die A Bitter Death

Motive – A Doctrine of Scripted Torture

The National Acrobat – Its Nothing Personal (Pattersons from Louisville)

Native Nod – “Bread”

Native Nod – s/t

Never Enough – Our Will b/w Is Done

No Idols – Grave Mistake Recs 7”

No Justice – Still Fighting

None More Black – s/t

Nora- Kill You For a Dollar

The Oath – s/t Puppeteer Hands Cover EP

Ocean of Mercy – 7” doghouse/oasis records

One Nature – Mutilated Children (2x7”)

Ordination of Aaron – Eli/Lay Down and Die

Ouisia – s/t Noise Pollution Recs (ex Endpoint)

Outspoken – Survival

Planes Mistake for Stars – Fucking Fight

Prevail – s/t

The Procedure – For Janus (395/500)

Purpose – “What’s in Worth”

Reach the Sky – Everybody’s Hero

Reach the Sky – Open Roads and Broken Dreams

Reach the Sky – (demo 7”? espo records, on red)

Reason to Believe – The Next Door (pre-Sensefield)

Relapse – “If This is Right”

Severed Head of State – s/t

Shadows Fall – To Ashes (first singer!)

Shadow Season – s/t Harvest Records (ex turning point)

Shai Hulud – A Profound Hatred of Man

Smile – Masterlocks + 2 (corner of sleeve cut)

Smoking Popes – Before Im Gone/Pasted

Something in the Water – Raise up the Blackened Flags

Something in the Water – Submitted for Approval

The Spark – “Fashion Rats & Status Whores”

The Spark – Less Slow, More Go (rec release)

Static Radio NJ – “One For the Good Guys”

Stick Figure Carousel – s/t

Stormshadow – Black Power

Strength 691 – The Other Side (2 copies – one on Green)

Suicide Party – 7”

Supertouch – What Did We Learn

Surroundings – “Monuments in Ruins”

Survivors – Busey Cover Test Press of Everything You know Is Wrong

Survivors – Everything You know is Wrong

Swiz – With Dave

The Scarlet Letter – s/t

The Scarlet Letter – Pure Unadulterated Adultery

Think I Care – Deadalive recs 7”

Threatener – The Hammering

Trial – Through the Darkest Days

Try.fail.try – we deal in lives

Throwdown – Drive Me Dead

Time in Malta – Identify. Persist. Transcend

Troublemaker – “s/t”

Unbroken – and/fall on proverb

Undertow – Control

Union – Tuffalo Hardcore 7” on Knowledge Records circa 95

Uprise – Silent No Longer

What Happens Next – Ahora Mas Que Nunca

World’s Collide – Object of Desire/Absolute

You and I – Track Star Records First 7” Repress w/Goldchains Crying on the Back

Zombie Apocalypse – This is a Spark of LIfe

(splits and comps)

Abnegation/Chapter

The Assistance/Forstella Ford

The Assistant/Scarlet Letter

Botch/Cave In – Sabbath Covers, In these Black Days Vol. 6

Botch/9 Iron Spitfire

Coalesce/Today is the Day – In these Black Days Sabbath covers

Coercion/Milhouse

CR/Milhouse

Death by Stereo/Ensign

Death By Virtue / Locked in a Vacancy

Ensign/Reaching Forward

Encounter/Blindfold

End of a Year/Fire Team Charlie

Engine Kid/Silkworm

Full of Fancy/The Acid Creeps

GDP/Dirty Money

The Get Up Kids/Coalesce

Holding On/The Real Enemy

I Hate Myself / Strikeforce Diablo

Kid Dynamite/Elliott – w/ I Stand Alone Zine #13

Kill Your Idols/Full Speed Ahead

Kill Your Idols/Voorhees

Let it Burn/The Scarlet Letter

Milhouse/The 52x

Napalm Death/ Coalesce In Tongues We Speak

Seasick/Don’t Wake Up (yellow/orange urban camo color)

Standfast/Our Time

They Live/Ruination

Undertow/Resolution

Yaphet Kotto/Suicide Nation

V/A – The good, the bad, the ugly comp (3x7” discordance axis, floor, ice nine, spazz, enemy soil, cavity)

V/A – Hex Records #1 – Nora/Every Time I die/Hermon Dekalb/Eternal Youth –w/ Hex issue #12

V/A – Horizon Recs Hardcore Comp (Encounter,Flagman, Ressurection, Lifetime)

V/A – In These Black Days #4 (Cavity, Cable, Jesuit, Overcast) 2x7

V/A – NY Catheter Crew Comp (Indecision, Milhouse, Judas Iscariot, Berzerkers, RPOD, KYI)

V/A – Right to Assemble Comp V. 1 (Degenerics, Worthless, Heidnik Stew, Stormshadow, Fanshen, Try.Fail.Try)

V/a Terror Promise Plan of Attack LIVE record

8”?

Das Oath – Lady Making Sexy Face on Cover

10”

All Else Failed – In My Gods Eye

Damnation A.d. – “Miseriacordia”

Early Grace – “And All I Run Into Are Walls You Have Built”

Endpoint - (final record?) Black cover red letters top right

the Get Up Kids – Red Letter Day

Gordon Solie Motherfuckers – Power Bomb Anthems Vol 1

Guilt – “Synesthesia” (sleeve is kinda worn out)

Killsadie – Half Cocked Concepts EP

The Last Crime – s/t (Clear)

Page 99 – Document #8

Poison the Well – Distance Only Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Song of Zarathrustra – 10” Picture Disk (Blood of the Young Records)

(Splits and Comps)

Knut/Botch/Ananda – 3 Way Milkshake

Surroundings/Pellinore – World Darkness

V/A – 18;18 Comp, Now or Never Recs (DEP, Converge, Ink & Dagger, Goddess, Black Army Jacket, Today is the Day)

12”:

1.6 Band – s/t

Black Kites – “Advancement to Ruins” 3.15.09 spraypainted pink sleeve

Blacklisted – No One Deserves to be Here More than Me (clear and purple)

Bloodlet – Eclectic (grey)

Botch – American Nervoso

Cave In – Under Your Heart Stops (2xLP Black Vinyl)

Catharsis – Samsara

Coalesce – There is Nothing New under the sun (Zeppelin covers picture disc)

Creation is Crucifixion – Automata (blue vinyl, I think w/ the Zelda music track)

Dag Nasty – Can I say (some repress)

Damnation AD – No More Dreams of Happy Endings

Day of the Dead – s/t

Demon System 13 – Vad Vet Vi Om Kriget?

Infest - Slave

Die 116 – Dyna Cool

Disembodied – Heretic (Grey)

Down in Flames – s/t

Drowningman – rock and roll killing machine (colored vinyl sticker, sealed)

Endeavor – Constructive Semantics

Enewetak – Guns Elvis Loved Them

Endpoint – Catharsis

Endpoint – After Taste

Ensign – Direction of Things to Come

Forced Forward – “s/t”

Four Walls Falling – Food for Worms

From Ashes Rise – Concrete and Steel

Frontier(s) – There Will Be No Miracles Here (Sealed)

Gods & Queens – s/t on Robotic Empire w a CD inside

Gods & Queens – SOV records

Honeywell – Hand Held Heart (2001 limited to 100 copies tour)

Hot Water Music – No Division

Incendiary – “Crusade”

Indecision – Release the Cure (green)

Infest – No Mans Slave

In First Person – “Lost Between Hands Held Tight”

Into Another – Creepy Eeepy (red)

Into Another – Seemless (clear, I think) corner of sleeve cut

Ire – What Seed What Root

Jethro Tull – Living in the Past

Judas Factor – Ballads in Blue China

Kamikaze – Destroy Everything You Think You Know

Kraut – An Adjustment to Society (red)

Last in Line – L’Escerito Del Morto

Los Crudos – Los Primeros Gritos 91 - 95

Malfunction – Fuse

Mainstrike – NO Passing Phase (yellow)

Man Will Surrender – “Instrument”

Mean Season - Grace

The Measure (sa) - Historical Fiction

The Measure (sa) – Songs About People And Fruit and Shit

Monument to Thieves – s/t

Morser – Two Hours to Doom

Most Precious Blood – Nothing in Van (grey marble)

Orchid – Chaos is Me

Overcast – Fight Ambition to Kill (white)

Page 99 – Document #5

Path of Resistance – Who Dares Wins (clear)

Planes Mistaken for Stars – fuck with fire (brown translucent)

Purpose – Alpha/Omega

Prevail – New Foundations

Rambo – Wall of Death the System

Reversal of Man – This is Medicine

Rollins Band – Weight (UK import, clear vinyl)

Righteous Jams – Rage of Discipline

Seasick – “Two Years of Hub City Hardcore”

Silent Majority – Life of a Spectator (blue)

Sleeper (Serpico) – “S/t”

Rorschach – Remain Sedate/Protestant (remaster/repress) 2xLP

RSO – Row (w/ CD?)

Sex Positions – 12” LP (Winter Tour)

Severed Head of State – s/t

SFA – the New Morality

Shelter - Mantra

Shift – Get In (clear vinyl, edge of LP cracked)

Staring Problem – “You’ll Always Be Sick” (#35/50 – record release cover?)

Starkweather - Crossbearer

Sticks and Stones – Theme Song for Nothing

Stretch Armstrong – Rituals of Life (black ,ltd to 100?)

Submission Hold – Waiting for Another Monkey to Throw the First Brick

Tear it Up – Just Can’t Stand It

Token Entry – Jaybird (hawker recs)

Torches to Rome – s/t

Triggerman – Dead Like Me

Universal Order of Armageddon – The Switch is down

Venom – American Assault (stole this from WNYU big sticker on the front)

Verbal Assault – On

Verbal Assault – Trial (corner of sleeve cut)

Worlds Collide – All Hope Abandon

Yaphet Kotto – The Killer W as in the Govt Blankets

(splits and Comps)

Bread and Circuits/Former Members of Alfonsin

Catharsis/Gehenna

Stormshadow./fANshen (4 copies)

Tear it Up/ETA

V/a – Guilty by Association (1134, frown, mean season, ignite, redemoption 87, more

V/A - Amnesia(ebullition) In/humanity, Failure Face, Car vs Driver, Ordination of Aaron more

V/A NYHC 4 EP’s Bootleg the mob, urban waste, antidote, the abused

V/A - Right To Assemble Vol. Two

Preparing for a trip overseas...

Sat, 27 Aug 2011 13:15:07 -0400

Me: Why are you shaking your purse?

Mrs. Sharma: (while shaking purse vigorously) It makes it lighter. That way it won’t be as heavy on the plane.

Me: (Hard stare) You’re on punishment, no talking for a half hour.

Snozzitory Hallucinations

Wed, 24 Aug 2011 08:48:35 -0400

Me: (singing clipse) When the last time ya heard it like thissss? Smoke something, drink something get ripppppppeedddd…

Mrs. Sharma: Oh ew stop singing that song, the smoke will make me sick.

Me: Are you crazy? There’s no smoke it’s a song…

Mrs. Sharma: I have a very sensitive nose. Ugh.

Mrs. Sharma on International Current Events...

Mon, 08 Aug 2011 21:15:18 -0400

Me: Do you know why they’re rioting in London?

Mrs. Sharma: Probably a black-white thing, they’re always fighting about something. Oh, Ramadan just started it might be the Muslims blowing stuff up. I don’t know. I’m not black, I’m not white, and I’m not Muslim. Leave me alone I had nothing to do with it this time.

Embarrassing...

Wed, 27 Jul 2011 22:08:40 -0400

Mrs. Sharma: Oh my God, this is so embarrassing…

Me: ??

Mrs. Sharma: I have to go to Lynn’s house for lunch, and I don’t remember her address.

Me: Why don’t you just call her?

Mrs. Sharma: I don’t want her to know I don’t remember. It’s EMBARRASSING.

Me: It’s not like she heard you fart or something.

Mrs. Sharma: IT’S EMBARRASSING!!!

Me: I think maybe you don’t know what embarrassing means…

Mrs. Sharma: Go away!

You ate that already???

Thu, 17 Mar 2011 19:01:46 -0400

Mrs. Sharma: (yelling) YOU FINISHED FOUR SLICES OF PIZZA ALREADY?

Me: Yo, why are you yelling?

Mrs. Sharma: …I don’t like you.

Can't sell dope forever...

Tue, 02 Nov 2010 06:57:30 -0400

Mrs. Sharma: Don’t be silly. You can’t sell drugs every day. You’d get arrested. That’s why you need to make sure you learn to manage your money.

Me: IT’S HAAAAAAARD WHEN YOU SEEEETTTLE WITH NO...

Wed, 27 Oct 2010 23:22:57 -0400

Me: IT’S HAAAAAAARD WHEN YOU SEEEETTTLE WITH NO INCOOOOOOOOME, WHEN INCOME STEAAAAADY COMIN’ INNNNNNN !!!!

Mrs. Sharma: SO YOU SEEELLL DRUUUUUUUUUUUUGS !!!! TO MAKE MOOOOONEEEEEEY!!!! AND WHEN YOU FALL ON YOUR FAAAAAACE THERE’S NOBODY THERE TO PICK YOU UUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPP!!!!

Me: DUDE. That’s not how the song goes!!!

Mrs. Sharma: SO. I made it better. I interviewed five people today, all of them were drug dealers and went to jail. They’re trying to turn their life around by working at K-Mart. HA!!!!!!!!

Annie Waits singalongs at 6 AM...

Wed, 27 Oct 2010 07:08:31 -0400

Me: Annie waaaaits for a caaaaaaall, from a friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeend. (From the Ben Folds “Rocking the Suburbs” LP)

Mrs. Sharma: …phone a friend? Are you trying to be on Who Wants to be a Millionaire or something?

Me: STOOOOOOOP. I’m trying to sing a sooooooong!!!!

Mrs. Sharma: Are you using your lifeline? What about the 50-50?

Me: Well, I certainly wouldn’t call you with my phone a friend, I’ll tell you that much.

Mrs. Sharma: I WOULDN’T PICK UP! HA!!!

Me: Hey, dad… you never beat your wife or children, and now look what’s happened.

Mr. Sharma: I should have beaten up on all of you. Now who will beat me up? (:: look of everlasting sadness, and despair ::)

Mrs. Sharma: What the hell is that ugly thing? Me: Snow...

Sat, 23 Oct 2010 16:40:02 -0400

Mrs. Sharma: What the hell is that ugly thing?

Me: Snow White…

Mrs. Sharma: It looks like one of those dolls witches use to cast spells on people. I had a rag doll like that when I was a little girl…

Me: To cast spells on people?

Mrs. Sharma: NO. Don’t be stupid. It was just the similar kind of doll. Mine didn’t have a nose either. That’s why they look ugly. Do you really think she’ll like it?

Me: She’s 2 and a 1/2 years old, and it’s Snow White! What the hell is wrong with you?

Mrs. Sharma: Oh. Well. It only looked really ugly when you were taking it out of the bag. It doesn’t look ugly anymore. It should still have a nose though.

Vow of Silence

Sat, 23 Oct 2010 16:33:44 -0400

Mrs. Sharma took a vow of silence this morning after I informed her that she talks too much, and that myself and Mr. Sharma would appreciate some peace and quiet at 8:00 AM.

She remained silent for 7 minutes, which is the longest there has been silence in any home she’s lived in for the past 45 years.

Me: Ha! Knew you couldn’t keep quiet.

Mrs. Sharma: My husband loves me and I can tell he wanted to hear my voice.

Mr. Sharma: …

I'm like a Secret Service

Sat, 23 Oct 2010 08:18:52 -0400

Mrs. Sharma: Hey, you guys spilled ice cream on my floor!

Me: No way, dude. We didn’t even walk around with it. It must be some old ice cream from Dad.

Mrs. Sharma: No, I FOUND IT. Come give it a taste if you don’t believe me.

Me: Dad’s always sneaking off to secretly eat ice cream by himself!

Mrs. Sharma: Look. I know everything that goes on here. I’m like a Secret Service. I found the evidence.

Me: What if someone tries to kill Obama? Are you a bad enough dude to save the president?

Mrs. Sharma: Oh, I’ll kill him. If it’s him or me, I’ll let him die.

You Put My Eye out!

Wed, 20 Oct 2010 07:36:34 -0400

Me: You’re brewing coffee? You only drink that instant garbage.

Mrs. Sharma: You’re not going to have coffee this morning?

Me: You don’t know how to make coffee, you’ll mess it up!

Mrs. Sharma: You know, we have a saying in India: Put ghee (clarified butter) in the eye of a blind man, and he’ll say “You put my eye out!!!”

Me: What the hell? Don’t put ghee in my eye either you weirdo.

Free underwear

Sun, 17 Oct 2010 17:12:47 -0400

Me: Weren’t you going to the mall?

Mrs. Sharma: Your dad didn’t want to go, so I’ll go by myself on my day off Tuesday.

Me: Why won’t dad go?

Mrs. Sharma: I have a coupon for free underwear. He thinks it’s embarrassing.

Me: I bet you still have to pay tax.

Mrs. Sharma: No tax on underwear!

Me: I should have known…

Birthday in Bollywood

Tue, 28 Sep 2010 14:50:19 -0400

Mrs. Sharma: Today is Ranbir Kapoor’s birthday. He’s turning 28.

Me: Who’s that?

Mrs. Sharma: Ranbir Kapoor is a hot new actor in Bollywood.

Me: MOM. EWWWWW. He’s even younger than me!

Mrs. Sharma: NO that’s just what people say on TV. I don’t have a crush on him or anything stupid, he’s just like my son to me.

Me: …except you don’t know him. Anyway, happy birthday.

If I ever get a tattoo...

Sat, 25 Sep 2010 18:10:05 -0400

Mrs. Sharma: If I ever get a tattoo, I’ll get a little Om on my arm. On one side of it it’ll say, “Amit” and on the other side it’ll say, “Rishi.” That way I can take the both of you with me when I die.

Me: What are you talking about? You’re not getting buried. You’ll be cremated. That tattoo is going to get burnt up and disappear.

Mrs. Sharma: No no no. It’ll go with my soul to heaven. Trust me.

Day of Atonement

Sat, 18 Sep 2010 13:00:26 -0400

Mrs. Sharma: You should fast today. It’s a really important, good holiday.

Me: What? We have a holiday?

Mrs. Sharma: Yes. If you fast today, your sins from the past year will ALL be gone.

Me: What the hell holiday is this?

Mrs. Sharma: YOM KIPPUR!!!!!

Me: WE’RE NOT JEWISH!!!

Mrs. Sharma: WHO CARES!!! Anyone can do it. I saw it on the news. Just fast and your sins will be gone. Sin sin sin all the time all year, and then Yom Kippur and you’re better again. If I’d known this I would’ve been Jewish a long time ago.

Me: …

Mrs. Sharma: I already ate today before I found out. I have to wait until next year.

Mrs. Sharma re: Alcatraz

Wed, 08 Sep 2010 22:24:28 -0400

Mrs. Sharma: Ugh. Don’t ever kill anyone, or anything. Jail is so sad, I visited Alcatraz. It’s scary I’d never want to live there. The location is nice though. It’s a beautiful island. I’d build a house there and live in it. Not in the jail though.

Dress like that at your wedding, if anyone will marry you.

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 02:09:56 -0400

Me: I’m ready for Rahul’s wedding. (Wearing shirt and tie, tucked into mesh shorts.)

Mrs. Sharma: Why are you dressed like that?

Me: It’s a new style. Business casual.

Mrs. Sharma: Dress like that at your wedding, if anyone will marry you. Now go put your pants on.